The Pastor and His Donkey

Before I proceed, I would like to give some English lessons. Today we are going to learn the meaning of the word Donkey, Ass (don’t feel shy about saying the word Ass), Pastor and Nun.

Donkey: The donkey is a member of the horse family and are well known for being extremely stubborn, especially when they are asked to do things which are dangerous. A male donkey is called an Ass.

At the same time, the word Ass is used to describe other things.

Ass: buttocks, butts: The fleshy part of the human body that you sit on.

 
Pastor: The word pastor usually refers to an ordained person within a Christian church.

Nun: In the Catholic Church, a nun is a female who has taken solemn vows.

 
Understand what I’m trying to deliver? If yes you may proceed reading the forwarded email below. If you still don’t understand, try asking Mr.Google.

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The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

 
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered
the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.
The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor
to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news,
Posted the following headline:
NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey
so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

 
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the
donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.


At last ... The Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY???
Being concerned about public opinion can bring you
much grief and misery and even shorten your life.
So, be yourself and enjoy life !!!
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer

What You Do To Others Will Be Done To You

Once upon a time in China , a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law.

In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law' s bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it. Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.

Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving.

Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect you, when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. “Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen.” Li-Li was so happy.
 

She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.

She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset.

She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law' s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in- law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter.

Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening.

One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again She said, “Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep off the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her.”

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. “Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her.”

 

HAVE YOU REALIZED that: how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you?

There is a wise Chinese saying: “The person who loves others will also be loved in return.” God might be trying to work in another person's life through you.

You may send this to your friends and if you wish spread the POWER OF LOVE.   After all you have got nothing to lose but a lot to gain. “A candle loses nothing if it is used to light another one".

Oct 2009 He Yan End

(Pictures without Watermark[clementlemonboy.blogspot.com] are for illustration purposes only because the real email doesn’t contain any pictures. Credits goes back to the owner).